Ep. 63: Breast Implant Illness & Taking Control Of Your Health With "NO EXCUSE MOM" Maria Kang
"I was in my midriff-baring sports bra and boy shorts. I was with my kids who were three, two, and eight months at the time. It said 'What's your excuse?' on the top. It was really, for me, a way of saying, if I can do it, you can do it."
If you were anywhere on the internet in 2012 you probably remember No Excuse Mom. If you don't, I'll insert the image down below to refresh your memory. If you don't know the woman behind No Excuse Mom is an amazing badass boss mom, business owner, fitness advocate, blogger, and founder of the No Excuse Mom movement. She raised a lot of controversy with her initial post back in 2012 but she hasn't slowed down one bit since.
This year Maria revealed via the internet that she had had explant surgery. She had been experiencing breast plant illness and made the decision to get her implants removed and not replace them. If you're familiar with my story, you'll know I recently found out one of my implants has ruptured, so this is very close to me.
This is a loaded episode, okay? We talk about everything. We talk about motherhood, marriage, the pressures of social media, breast implant illness, and taking charge of your own health, no excuses.
Here are the episode highlights:
‣‣ [04:01] I want to start by sharing that I found out one of my breast implants has ruptured, and what that discovery was like for me.
‣‣ [13:54] Maria and I start by talking about her infamous 2012 No Excuses Mom post that kind of broke the internet. We talk about her drive for making the post, her intention behind it, and the backlash she received.
‣‣ [15:55] I think what really got people angry about Maria's post was that she was breaking all these stereotypes that you had to be rich and have nannies if you wanted to be a good parent and get fit and healthy at the same time. We unpack that a little here.
‣‣ [17:36] Maria and I both had these great concerns for what pregnancy would do to our bodies, how they would change and whether or not we would be able to get them back into their previous states. Maria talks about how the No Excuse Mom community tackles that issue.
‣‣ [20:44] I ask Maria to drop her wisdom on raising boys.
‣‣ [22:36] Maria shares a book that's changed her life. We talk about Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning.
‣‣ [24:19] Instagram can often be just a glimpse at someone's highlight reel of life. We've talked about that before. But to me Maria is real. She doesn't sugarcoat things. We talk all about social media and the effort to be real and authentic to people.
‣‣ [28:01] Maria gives us a look at what her life was like pre-No Excuses Mom, growing up, facing judgment and bullying, blogging, and bulimia.
‣‣ [31:17] Putting yourself out there online can be super overwhelming. Here I ask Maria to talk more about her experiences publishing her personal stories online.
‣‣ [33:50] We get into breast implant illness and explant surgery. We talk symptoms, we talk process, we talk fears and insecurities, frustrations, and recovery.
‣‣ [52:55] To wrap up, I ask Maria one of my favorite questions. If it was your last day of life and everything you've ever posted or shared online would disappear and you just have a box, what would you put in the box to leave your loved ones? What truths would you want to leave for them to know?
I'M TIRED OF LIVING WITH EXCUSES! (Listen Here)
It was so refreshing talking to Maria. I hope that you got as much out of our talk as I did. If you want some more inspiration from her, you can check her out on Instagram right here!
You can follow me, Sheila Bella, on Instagram @realsheilabella!
Here are the links that were mentioned in the podcast!
Grow Your Gram
Online Course Workshop
FOR MY LISTENER BOSS BABES
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You can enjoy a transcript of the podcast here.
Sheila Bella:
Welcome to the Pretty Rich Podcast, where every woman is the heroine of her own story. I'm your host, Sheila Bella, and I built a million dollar beauty business from nothing. So maybe if you listen enough, you'll start to believe that you can do it, too. Because if the perfect job doesn't exist, well, you can create it. If the job you want isn't hiring you, you can unapologetically hire yourself. Each episode will equip you with empowering conversations on how to grow a lifestyle that's pretty rich in love, beauty, wellness, and financial wealth. I'm sheila Bella, beauty business coach, celebrity brow artist, global success speaker, author, serial entrepreneur, wife, mother, friend, daughter, and your forever positive beauty biz sales guru. Let's go.
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Get ready. This episode is loaded. Fair warning, okay? Welcome back to Pretty Rich Podcast. It's Sheila Bella. What's going on? Today's guest I'm really super excited about. It's Maria Kang. Hello! I've actually wanted to interview her for a really long time now. Heck, I wanted to meet her. She is a wife. She's a mother of three boys. She's a business owner, fitness advocate, blogger, and founder of the No Excuse Mom movement. Today, we're going to be chatting all things about parenting, marriage, business, taking control of your own health, and breast implant illness. She recently got a breast explant. So, we're going to chat about that.
She might be best known for her No Excuse Mom photo. It was an extremely controversial photo that she posted on Facebook in 2012. It's a picture of her wearing workout clothes, scantily clad, baring her fit body and six-pack abs. How dare she? And surrounding her in the photo are her three young sons. Above her was the line, "What's your excuse?" The photo broke the internet. It received several thousand comments, and some labeled her as a bully, a narcissist, or a bad mother. So mean, right?
Maria was interviewed because of that photo on several shows, such as the Today Show, Good Morning America, and several others. That was in 2012. She made the rounds, the media rounds. And this year, Maria made waves again by posting yet another controversial photo on her social media revealing her beautiful feminine figure with her breast implants and her hands outside of her body. She had recently gone through an explant. And in her caption, she warned people that the FDA recalled Allergan because breast implants are linked to cancer.
She was also experiencing breast implant illness symptoms. I've been seeing this thing everywhere. BII, breast implant illness. Maria says that, "I finally feel like leaving the young, and secure, and impressionable girl I once was, and I'm coming into the strong, confident woman that I am today." How liberating, right? So whether you love her or you're challenged by her, Maria uses her platform to encourage women to love their bodies at all sizes, and all forms, and at all stages. And I can't wait for you guys to hear this interview.
I wanted to share something before I bring her on about what I've been going through and what led me to reach out to her recently, actually. About a year ago, I got my mammogram and ultrasound breast examination, my first one. The doctor told me that I have something called dense breasts. Basically, all that means is that it's harder to see because the tissue in your breasts are just that, dense. But, they said everything was normal, but it is harder to see.
So, I decided to get an MRI because MRIs are more sensitive. They pick things up more. And especially if I have dense breasts, I want to make sure that my breasts are healthy and normal for sure. So, I got an MRI about a month ago which revealed a couple different things. Number one, it revealed that I had a tiny lump about the size of a centimeter on my right upper quadrant. And number two, it also revealed that my left breast implant has ruptured. What?
So now I was stressed out about two things. Geez. So after about a week of trying to get earlier doctor's appointments ... Because with imaging, with diagnostic imaging, I feel like nobody in LA has an immediate appointment. You have to wait. So, I pushed for one. You have to be your own greatest advocate. So, I went to the Glendale RadNet Center, and I told them, "Listen, I need this done as soon as possible." They said, "Okay. Come on in. Just wait. Wait around." And I said, "Fine. If you guys have wifi, I can work."
Let me tell you, I was hardly working in that waiting room. I was more praying and talking to myself. And for any of you who've ever had to do a diagnostic imaging for your breasts, you understand that it is a long wait. They said that they would tell me that day what the results were, whether or not we would need further testing or whether that lump was most likely benign.
So after I got the news that the lump was benign, first of all, I cried. And it's amazing how the knowledge that we're not here forever, the realization, the reminder that we're not here forever gives you courage, actually. It gives you courage to just do the dang thing that scared you, the hard thing that you've been avoiding but you know you need to do. Because in the end, it's not really going to matter. Once my soul is with God, I would want to look back and think that I really gave it my all, that I left no stone unturned, that I did everything I was scared of, that I lived life to the fullest extent of my capacity.
So after that, now I had to deal with my implant rupture. I got silicone implants in 2005. I got the cohesive gel kind. And for those of you who don't know, cohesive gel silicone implants are supposed to act like a gummy bear. That's the thing, they're cohesive. The molecules, the silicone isn't liquified. They're supposed to stay together. But after doing some research, I found that that's not always the case. Yes, they advertised it when I got them as cohesive gel, but they liquefy over time.
So if saline wasn't great, if silicone isn't great, then what is? So, I came to the conclusion that all natural was the way to go. I did some homework about breast explant surgeries. I looked up the hashtag on Instagram, and lo and behold there was this girl that I knew that I looked up to, Maria Kang. Oh my goodness. She had her breast implants taken out and not replaced. That's the very thing I was contemplating.
I want to do another podcast episode on this because this was big for me. Getting breast implants meant something to me, so taking them out is also going to mean something to me. But for now, I just want to say that the decision to let them go was actually really easy, and I was surprised. They've been part of my body. And in my 20s, I chose to make them a prominent part of my identity for so long. The reason why I got them in 2005, I have to say, wasn't necessarily, and you might not believe me, to please men or everyone around me or society. I had C cups. I was actually fine with my breasts. But, my mom had them, and hers looked great. And you know who else had them was Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, and all the other Asian import models that I identified with.
I just thought it was the thing to do. I didn't question my health or the long-term effects of this. I think I did for a second and they said, "Oh, you just need to replace it every 15 years." I said, "15 years? Oh, that's a long time from now. I'm okay with that." But once I did get them done and they were in me, it did kind of change me a little bit. I noticed a difference in how people treated me, and I adapted to it. Heck, I even used it.
And perhaps because I had them, because I had such large, amazing plastic boobs, maybe I relied on them too much and I let them kind of go in front of my heart. No pun intended. Sometimes they hid me. People couldn't see past the plastic, so they judged me right away, which kind of acted as a filter that I'm grateful for to this day. Because if you're the type of person who's going to judge somebody just from the way they looked, then I don't want to do business with you anyway. Or I don't want to be your friend anyway. And the people who really took the time to get to know me and what was underneath the silicone, I really appreciate. Like I said, it was a filter. I had quality relationships.
I think the bottom line for me is that you decide what breast implants are going to mean to you, or plastic surgery in general. There were times that I misused it, I guess. I made them too powerful sometimes. Does that make sense? If you're relating to this or if this resonating with you, hit me up on the gram. I want to know. Sometimes I just put things out there and I'm like, "Is this hitting anybody?" Then, I'll get a direct message from one of you and I'm like, "Oh, okay. Good."
Now, at 37, I don't know. I just feel pretty anyway. I feel whole. I feel loved with or without my boobs. And that's the coolest thing to me, is that ... Because I've been saying that for several years, like, "Yeah, I'm over it." But then now, I get a chance to really prove it to myself that I've outgrown my old self. The decision to explant for me was so easy where I'm just like, "Oh, wow. I really am what I say I am." There's no cognitive dissonance there, and it's a really cool moment when you realize that the way you described yourself to yourself is accurate. And that's the only opinion that matters, truly.
So, moving forward, I am deliberating on a surgery data. I am nervous. But, I have a lot to live for, and I want to be free. I just think it would feel so much better to not have them. They're heavy. I've had them for so long I don't even know what life is like without them or barely remember. And judging my all of these things I hear about breast implant illness, I'm excited to see if there are any changes. And I'll be honest with you guys. I'll let you know. So, let's talk to somebody who's actually explanted. And not just anybody, Maria Kang. Oh my goodness. Here she is, finally, on Pretty Rich Podcast.
Hey, everyone. Welcome to Pretty Rich Podcast. I'm sitting here with none other than Maria Kang. Maria, welcome to Pretty Rich podcast.
Maria Kang:
Thank you for having me.
Sheila Bella:
I am so excited to have you here because I discovered you in 2012 when the infamous photo came out. I don't even know how I came across it. But then again, it was everywhere. I don't know how you could miss it. I was actually really inspired by it, and others were offended by it. Anyway, I want to get into that photo. If you guys don't know what I'm talking about, you have to look it up. Just look up Maria Kang what's your excuse on Google, and send us messages. Let us know what your reaction is, whether it's positive or negative. But I can tell you from my personal perspective I was very empowered by it.
Maria Kang:
I'm happy you were.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, yeah.
Maria Kang:
It's great. I thought it was such an empowering, not so much ... Well, I think it's empowering if you look at it that way, meaning I'm really showing ... And for those of you who are listening and who have never seen the photo, but you can probably remember it if I describe it to you. I was in my midriff baring top sports bra and boy shorts. I was with my [inaudible 00:15:09] three, two, and eight months at the time. It said, "What's your excuse?" on the top. It was really, for me, a way of saying if I can do it, you can do it. Because the no excuses phrase, what's your excuse, you see it often, especially with paraplegics, old people. I feel like I had kids in 2009, '10, and '11. My body's been through the wringer. And if I can get a workout in or if I can eat healthy, you can do it. Because we all know that moms are one of the busiest people on the planet. So, it was really interesting to see the backlash, but also the support. I don't want to forget the support. A lot of people came out of the trenches either in support or in dismay about this whole image.
Sheila Bella:
Well, I mean, I think people kind of hate on you more and get angrier when they find out that you don't have nannies.
Maria Kang:
Oh, yeah.
Sheila Bella:
You don't have a personal chef. You don't have a personal trainer or anything like that.
Maria Kang:
What was upsetting for a lot of people was I wasn't a celebrity. I'm not filthy rich. I'm your next door neighbor. So whatever story you've been telling yourself your entire life or the people around you have been telling you, which is you want to look a certain way, or if you want to feel a certain way, or be healthy, then you got to go on a restrictive diet. You have to have a nanny. You have to be a bad mom and neglect your kids to work out and train three hours a day. I mean, all of that is such fallacy. So, I was really breaking a lot of glass ceilings for people in their head and in their personal lives and their stories.
Sheila Bella:
It shows you what's possible. I guess for the people who were upset, maybe, I'm sorry, maybe highlights what you haven't done.
Maria Kang:
Well, I think that it just ... I think generally, and I speak in terms of just your entire life. I was bullied as a kid. I still obviously struggle with a lot of criticism and judgements. But, I realize that you just have to be who are. And if people don't like you for whatever reason, if you didn't physically hurt them, if you've never spoken to them, it's really just to bring out ... You bring out an insecurity in them, and it's not your fault. They need to handle whatever they need to handle in regards to how they feel about you. Because unless you physically hurt them, there's no reason why they should hate you as much as they do.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, yeah. I mean, it gave me a lot of hope for what I was capable of doing. Because at that point, when I saw that photo, I haven't had children yet, and I was terrified of what pregnancy would do to my body.
Maria Kang:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
I was like, "Wait a second. There's hope. There's hope."
Maria Kang:
Yeah, no. I was totally scared to have kids. I remember telling my boyfriend in college, "Oh my God. I'm so scared about what's going to happen to my body after having kids." And in my life in general. Because mothers I saw were run down. They were overweight. They didn't take care of themself. He looked at me, because he knows. I think we vibe. We're similar people. He's like, "Maria, you're never going to let yourself go," and I said ... I was kind of offended. I was just like, "So what are you saying? You're not going to love me if I let myself go kind of deal?" But then I realized …
And this is another reason why I love community, why I love the No Excuse Mom community is that you are who you hang out. They expect more from you. And I think that's a big deal. I mean, people expect me to work out. People expect me to be ... I mean, imagine, Sheila, if you ... People expect you to be pretty for the rest of your life. You're going to be that old person in the care home that gets their hair done every week. You're not going to let yourself go when you're 85, you know?
Sheila Bella:
Yes.
Maria Kang:
It's because you have a high expectation from yourself, and the people around you expect that from you.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, expectations, I think, can be either a good thing or a bad thing, but yet in this case ... For example, I have a gym accountability partner type thing. We don't work out together, but I see her at five in the morning. She is there. And if I'm not there, it's just ... We don't work out together, but we just say like, "Okay, you're here. Great." That's it.
Maria Kang:
Totally.
Sheila Bella:
That expectation is like, "Oh." I think about her like, "Oh, I can't let her down."
Maria Kang:
Aw. Yeah. But, that's so the truth, though. And when we talk about community, we're not just talking about the people you know. It's about people that's in your grocery store, the people that you see on daily basis, the people you see online. When you don't see them for a while, you don't ... For some people, if they don't see me walk my dog for a week, they're like, "What happened?" You're a part of people's life. I think that that's so key.
Sheila Bella:
That's so beautiful. It is the people just in your neighborhood. Totally. I just want to do a quick rapid fire, kind of like get to know-
Maria Kang:
Sure.
Sheila Bella:
... before we dive into everything else. Yeah, just quick five questions. Number one, where are you from, and where did you grow up?
Maria Kang:
Right now, I'm residing in Elk Grove, California, which is south of Sacramento, capital of California, but I was born in San Francisco.
Sheila Bella:
Awesome. And you're Filipino, right?
Maria Kang:
Half Filipino, half Chinese.
Sheila Bella:
You're half. And you're half Chinese.
Maria Kang:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. I'm full Filipino, but [foreign language 00:20:28] anyway.
Maria Kang:
Thanks.
Sheila Bella:
You are a mother of three boys, correct?
Maria Kang:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Sheila Bella:
I have two sons.
Maria Kang:
Oh, wow.
Sheila Bella:
So, I think your boys are a little bit older than mine, slightly. I have a two and four-year-old.
Maria Kang:
Oh, yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Do you have any quick wisdom to give me for raising boys?
Maria Kang:
Oh my gosh. That's a really good question. I love that meme that says raising boys is not for the faint at heart, and it shows all of these crazy things that they do. And they're very physical. They have so much energy. There's another one, I have to say, a mom's job is from son up, S-O-N, to son down because it ... Really, they truly have an amazing amount of energy.
But I think in general, for any parent who raises kids, you want to be conscious parents. I love Dr. Shefali. I don't know if you follow her. But, it's all about creating expectations for your children that's not so much expecting them but allowing them just to grow and be who they are. Because I think as parents, and I think you've experienced this with our own parents, is that we impose so much of our belief set and our expectations on them. But, they end up growing up not knowing how to think, or who they are, or what their passions are. So, I think it's really important just to say, "You came out of me, but you can from me, but you're not of me. You are your own sense of ... You have your own purpose, and I'm just here to nurture that purpose."
Sheila Bella:
That's beautiful. Yeah, we could've all used a little bit of that growing up, I'm sure. Do you have a favorite quote?
Maria Kang:
I've always loved quotes. I was one of those people that had quotes on her binder growing up in high school. I love there's nothing constant but change.
Sheila Bella:
Oh, my dad says that.
Maria Kang:
It's true, though. I mean, when you let it go ... And you can put so many quotes into that one quote, but-
Sheila Bella:
I know.
Maria Kang:
... let's let go of a lot of things. Because wherever you are today, whether you're up or you're down, it's going to change.
Sheila Bella:
Definitely. Book that's changed your life.
Maria Kang:
Oh, there's several. There's too many. But I will say, off the top of my head, I really liked Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. He was a survivor of the Holocaust. For myself, reading that book, I'm always trying to find some purpose in life because I'm a very deep thinker. So to really understand how he could find purpose and meaning in the most destitute of experiences was really incredible. I mean, he has so many incredible quotes and stories in there, so I really recommend people read that book.
Sheila Bella:
You are the second person who's told me to read that. My husband has it in his [crosstalk 00:23:19].
Maria Kang:
Ah.
Sheila Bella:
He's like, "Sheila, you should read this." I'm like [crosstalk 00:23:21].
Maria Kang:
There's no excuse. It's in his office.
Sheila Bella:
No. So, okay. All right. Now he's going to be like, "Well, now that Maria's told you to read it, now you read it."
Maria Kang:
Now you read it. You'd love it. You'd love it, honestly.
Sheila Bella:
That's awesome. One more. Favorite cheat meal.
Maria Kang:
I'm a sugar fiend.
Sheila Bella:
Really?
Maria Kang:
I love sugar. Yeah. I mean, it won't even be a meal. It's more like brownies, or Rice Krispie Treats, or-
Sheila Bella:
Rice Krispie Treats.
Maria Kang:
... Sour Patches. I love Rice Krispie Treats, especially when I make them because it's different from like ... When you but and it tastes like chemicals. But when you melt the marshmallow and the butter yourself, it just tastes so much better. Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Oh, that's awesome. Do you have a cheat meal once a week?
Maria Kang:
I don't. I used to do that, but now I just ... I don't. I just eat whenever I want.
Sheila Bella:
That's awesome.
Maria Kang:
Yeah, yeah.
Sheila Bella:
What I love about you is that I look at your content, whatever it is, whether it's your blog or your Instagram, and it's just so freaking real. It's so real. Because I look at a lot of people's Instagram pages, and their lives are just ... It's just the good stuff. Social media only shows the good. And I think part of the reason why you've grown so much and have all this influence is because you don't sugarcoat things.
I tell my clients all the time. I coach people on social media to share something meaningful. You don't necessarily have to air out all your dirty laundry all over the internet, but share something that's meaningful to you. Give us something to watch, something to look at. You've been a really great example for me.
Maria Kang:
Aw.
Sheila Bella:
You've given me permission to do that. You know what I mean? In like my way. There are definitely pros and cons of being so transparent on the internet, and I was wondering if you could elaborate on what your experience has been being so transparent.
Maria Kang:
Well, I think the biggest fear that people have is the judgment that comes with it. And I'll give you an example. So when I talk about my marriage, people assume I have a bad marriage. It's kind of like going to the gym. It's like you're working out, and people think, "Oh, is it because you're fat or is it because you're insecure?" No, it's because I'm strong. That's why I work out. I go to counseling because I have a good marriage, and I want a better marriage.
So, I feel like people are very scared with the judgment that comes with it. Because let's be real. We don't like it when people don't like us or when people are going to judge us in any way. But, this is what people need to understand is that they're going to judge you regardless. They're going to judge you. They create stories. It's going to be based off their own personal story, but they're going to ... You have to stand strongly on who you are, what you believe in, and really not care about what anybody thinks, how many likes or how many comments you get. You really can't let that affect you because if you let the celebration of success or that comment affect you, then you're going to let the negative comment affect you. You know what I'm saying? You just can't care about what people think. I mean, it's a hard thing to do, but it's like a muscle. It just grows.
So the first thing you do is say, "I had a bad day." Well, that felt really good to put that out there. Then say, "I had a bad day because this happened." Then, that felt good. That survived that. Maybe I could say I had a couple bad days. You know what I mean? So, it's like a muscle. You just have to slowly let it out, but also be respectful about the people that are in your life if you're ... For example, a marriage. Be respectful about who you're talking about or not divulge too much of the information or being too specific because people don't need to know that stuff, you guys. People don't need to know your dirty laundry. They don't need to know what exactly you're talking about.
People are connected with pain, and happiness, and sorrow, and birth, and death. I mean, you can talk about all of that that connects us, but you don't have to get into the dirty details. That's not necessary.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. And I see that you don't do that, but you still have this way of making me not feel so alone. And that's the pro. Is that why you do it? What is the motive behind your transparency?
Maria Kang:
I think however you ... When you connect with me or resonate with me, how are you feeling is how I'm feeling. That's why we connect. That's why we're resonating right now. And if you feel less alone because of what I'm saying, the reason what I speak out loudly is because I want to feel less alone. I want to feel like there's other people out there. It's not just me.
I remember I started my blog in 2005. The reason why I started it is because I grew up. I was bullied in my high school years. I competed in pageants. I did very well in corporate America. And there was just always this stigma or this judgment about me before people got to know me because of how I looked. There was just a very standoffish I already know your story before you ever get to tell it kind of feeling. So, I decided I'm going to start sharing my own story. I'm going to start saying, "If you want to google me, you can find out more about me if you're interested, but you're not going to tell my story anymore."
Sheila Bella:
Wow.
Maria Kang:
So, I started blogging in 2005. And just like a muscle, I started sharing a little bit more, a little bit more. I started connecting with people. I didn't even have comments on because I just didn't want to hear the feedback. I just wanted to put it out there. So, you're going to notice I'm not big on comments, my website because it was never really there, present. But, the reason why I did this because I was very alone. I was bulimic. I had binge eating issues. And I wanted to connect with people who were just like me because I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired and alone.
Sheila Bella:
Wow. I love that because I relate a lot to that. People judge me right away just based on my exterior and what ... Well, I mean, to be fair to them, I did put that bimbo-y [inaudible 00:29:43] out there. I did. But, I love that you went to social media. And I feel like everybody needs to realize that they have this power, that you control your story.
Maria Kang:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
You told the narrative.
Maria Kang:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
If they google Maria Kang, your stuff will come up. You can tell yourself, not what they're saying. So if anybody like-
Maria Kang:
But, I'll only say this, though. I will say this, though. When you google me, you'll find a lot of people's opinion about me. I think back when the photo went viral, Huffington Post was huge. Bloggers are still huge, but they're blogging about this. So, people have negative opinions about me, and it sucks to see it. But at the same time, I don't care because ... I mean, I do care. I want to care. But, I feel like to me, I know who I am and in time ... Because the blogs will come and go. The opinions will come and go. There's media stations that are falling right now. You know what I mean?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Maria Kang:
I was going to go into a tangent. I really hate this one magazine that's really popular that always has a negative opinion. I'm like, "I can't wait till they go out of business." Because the truth is is at the end of my life, my works are going to show for myself. The goodness that I bring into this world, the energy that I emanate, the things that I create, the people that I influence, that's what's going to tell the truth. Everyone's going to have their own truth, and it's always about a whose truth is prominent. Well, my truth is prominent, and it's going to show through time what I am, you know?
Sheila Bella:
That's awesome. Now, were you a little nervous being so transparent when you first started or were you just like, "This is my truth. I have this in me. I'm a writer." You're an amazing writer, by the way, so this is my outlet.
Maria Kang:
It's my outlet. I've been doing it since I was in sixth grade, just writing.
Sheila Bella:
Wow.
Maria Kang:
That's when I was first published, in sixth grade. But, I will say that I grew up with a ... When in terms of people, especially going into the health fitness things, the What's Your Excuse, the criticism, a lot of people had an opinion, but I was so strong in how I felt. There's no excuse. I don't care. I don't care if you're this. I don't care if you're that. Because the truth is is that this body's the only thing you own. It can't look like mine, but it can be better than it is right now.
Literally, 80% of Americans have an excuse. And it's like I don't care what your excuse is. This is the only thing you own. Health is wealth. This is going to take you to the end of your life. Nothing in this world is going to take you as far as your body's going to take you. I come from a place of pain. I grew up with a mother who I thought was going to die every single year of my life because she had health-related issues, [inaudible 00:32:40] diabetes, high blood pressure. She had strokes in her 30s.
Sheila Bella:
Oh my God.
Maria Kang:
She had a kidney transplant before she turned 50. So when people say, "Well, you have no right talking," I just think in my head, "No, I do have a right. I have a right to express how I feel." My passion stems from my experience of watching people in my life that I love not take care of themself.
My mom and I get into tiffs, too. You want to be careful about who you talk about. But, I just believe that if you love your family, you'll unselfishly take care of yourself because I see it all the time. I'm in the elderly care industry. I see wives that have to take care of their husbands because they didn't take care of their health. They were drinking beer most of their life. I see children who have to take care of their parents at a early age because they didn't take care of their health.
I mean, you got to be ... Of course we can't control everything, but you have to be considerate of everybody around you as a community. And I feel like we're not considerate enough anymore. I mean, literally. We're not considerate enough. I mean, we live in a country where we have financial issues and we're going to have this healthcare crisis because people don't consider each other enough, you know?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. For people who were inflamed by that photo, perhaps they didn't take the time to hear your reason as to why. That's deeply meaningful. I can completely understand that and relate, to be honest.
Maria Kang:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, absolutely. Now, speaking of health, I wanted to ... This would be a nice progression into our next topic. You recently had a breast implant explant.
Maria Kang:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
I saw this photo. Now I got to tell you guys. I recently found out that my implants have ruptured.
Maria Kang:
Oh, wow.
Sheila Bella:
Silicone implants have ruptured. I found out about two weeks ago because I was screening for breast cancer. I also thought I had breast cancer or I might have breast cancer and had it for about a week. It was very stressful. But, thankfully, everything is fine. However, now I need to surgically remove my implants or replace them. I was looking up tags, hashtags on Instagram of breast implant illness and explant. And I was like, "Oh my gosh. I know this girl." And your photo came up. This photo, you guys, you have to look at her interesting. Maria Kang Fitness, right?
Maria Kang:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Sheila Bella:
Just scroll down maybe just a couple notches. But, I mean, it's you, beautiful, feminine, fit figure, and you're holding your implants in front of ... like in your hands. I was like, "Okay. Okay. I need to reach out. I need to ask her more about this." Because I've chosen also to not replace my implants. I have a surgery date coming up that I'm kind of nervous for, but it's okay. I do things scared. I've learned to do things scared. Explain to me that journey of how you came upon the decision to explant.
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Maria Kang:
Well, I can't talk about the explant without talking about the implant. First off, I had it when I was 22 or I was young. I did it because I had just one Miss Philippines USA, and I was going to compete in Manila. That's honestly the only reason why I did it. They're very competitive over there, as you know. And I'm a competitor. I wanted to win. I didn't think about it. I thought it was all safe. It's saline. I had saline implants.
Within two weeks, without even thinking, I got it implanted. I did have some surgical issues. I had hematoma. I have a blood clotting disorder. But anyway, that's the reason why I got it. But after the competition and after fitness competitions that I had done post the Manila, Philippines pageant, it was I went through just a huge depression in terms of realizing that I had utilized my body and objectified it in a way that I didn't feel connected to it anymore. What's interesting is that a lot of people didn't ever realize I had implants because they're very small. I mean, for those of you who don't have implants or do, I had 225 cc's put in, which is [crosstalk 00:39:39]-
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, that's moderate.
Maria Kang:
Huh?
Sheila Bella:
That's very moderate.
Maria Kang:
That's very moderate. Most people that I know are at least 300 and up because you want to be a good C cup. I think everyone wants to be a C cup. I'm like, "No, I just want to be a B cup, B plus or something." Only because I'd lost so much weight at the time just trying to get lean enough to compete.
I was also heavily influenced not just by the pageantry but also by the fitness industry. Because most women, I'd say 85% of fitness models, are all very lean with fake boobs because it's hard to look feminine with breasts when you're lost so much body fat and the body fat is also include your breast.
So anyway, fast forward to like 15 years later, I start to have symptoms. I have girlfriends around me who have removed their implants. So, it obviously put a seed into my brain. My girlfriends who had explanted, the reasons why they got an explant is because they had joint issues. They had chronic fatigue. What else did they have? They had blurry eyesight. There's just certain things that they were experiencing that …
One woman, her body just kept rejecting the implant. I decided this year that I was going to get it done. I had actually consulted the year prior because I knew I wanted to remove them because I was kind of over it. I knew that I didn't want to continue. People don't realize this either. Once you get the implants, you have to constantly maintain them, like every 15, 20 years. They say it's lifetime guarantee, but they're not. Most women who get implants have to replace it or remove it in the first 10 years. And it's expensive. It's not like a cheap surgery to get done. So, I didn't want to be that 70-year-old replacing her implants. You know what I mean? I just knew that I already have certain ... I already have a blood clotting disorder. I'm not going to have a serious surgery when I'm 60 just because I want to have round boobs, you know?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Maria Kang:
So, I got it removed in June, like late June. The biggest triggers for me was I had very bad fatigue, and I just couldn't ... I mean, you talk about sleeping at 9. I was sleeping at 8 o'clock. I mean, that was huge for me because usually I'm up till midnight. Then, I had severe heart palpitations and just heart pressure where every single time people would see me I'd be massaging my chest because it hurt so much. Those were the biggest ones for me. I just was dealing with a lot of inflammation. I could see it in my face. I could see it in my body.
After I had the implants removed, a lot of things changed almost immediately. My girlfriend lost like 16 pounds within the first 24 hours. I mean, that's how inflamed she was. But, that's not the case for everybody. I have to say don't use explant as a way to lose weight. But, you will lose weight, obviously. I mean, it weighs something.
I didn't get a lift. I didn't get a fat transfer. I think that, yeah, I just wanted them out. And I also had a surgeon that said I didn't need it. And right now, it doesn't look like I need it. Because when you do a lift ... And I can get more into the details. I mean, you remove more fat. I mean, you'll get just flatter unless you do a fat transfer, which is a possibility, but you won't ever get more than a cup size for a fat transfer either, so understand that as well. And you have to have a very skilled surgeon to make that happen. Because a lot of people do botched fat transfers, and you don't want to deal with that either.
Sheila Bella:
Wow. You just gave me so much information right now.
Maria Kang:
I'm trying.
Sheila Bella:
This is fascinating to me. And there are so many things that you say that I totally relate to. But, I have to say that I don't know if I'm experiencing symptoms. I feel inflamed, I suppose, especially first thing in the morning. But, I don't know. I've had them so long that I don't even really remember life without them. So, this might just be my normal, and I'm looking forward to feeling better than I even ... than I ever thought possible. Because I've heard so many women complain about breast implant illness and the immediate relief they feel after explanting.
Maria Kang:
I will say this. There are certain women that are more obviously ... They're more susceptible to having a negative ... There are some women out there that are more susceptible to dealing with negative symptoms with breast implants. I mean, even with saline there's a silicone shell, but silicone in general is toxic for your body. Keep in mind we're around toxins every day. And we're in toxins in the paint that's in this house, you know?
So, I will say this. When my girlfriends got it done, I was actually kind of like, "I'm not experiencing anything." I mean, you can see a live video of me on Facebook last year in November, December saying, "Okay, this is her experience. I have none of those experience. I just have a little bit of pain in my chest." So for me, it was fine until it wasn't fine.
I remember distinctly what happened. I was on my way to Europe. I was going to my No Excuse Mom retreat there. And I was literally just so tired. And it happened within a month. I was so excited. Then, I was feeling a lot of other things, and I just wasn't feeling right. I said, "I need these out like yesterday." People would say, "Well, how do you know it's that?" I'm like, "I don't know if it's that or not." But, I do know one thing. When you put something foreign in your body, it disrupts your system. Your body's going to attack it. And whether or not it's attacking it now or later, it eventually will or it already has because we always ... Every woman develops a capsule around their breast. It's your body's way of fighting this foreign object.
So, I just said that there's certain truths in life. I'm a little black and white when it comes to things. But, I just knew that eventually I needed to get this out, so I'm just going to do it now while I'm young, while my boobs can come back into place, I'm still in my 30s, rather than later. Because I know that I'm just going to ... This is something, a truth. I knew I was going to remove it eventually, so let's just do it now. And number two, if this doesn't end up being because of the implants, then I can go to number two. What's my next step? You just don't know. You just don't know.
Sheila Bella:
Process of elimination.
Maria Kang:
Exactly.
Sheila Bella:
Let's eliminate the implants and see.
Maria Kang:
Yeah, so ...
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, totally. Totally. I feel you on all of those things. Yeah, I wonder what it is. I'm really looking forward to it. I can't imagine that I won't feel better because I have 400 cc. But, here's the thing, Maria. I started out as a C cup.
Maria Kang:
So you'll be fine. You might need a lift.
Sheila Bella:
I think I might need a lift, but my surgeon won't do it on the same surgery, and I'm okay.
Maria Kang:
But, a lot of surgeons will do that, which is fine. But, I've heard that you just want to see how your body reacts, and it's going to fluff out. You want to see it within a year where you're at, and then you want to get it done, you know?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Maria Kang:
You don't want to [inaudible 00:47:17] what it's going to do.
Sheila Bella:
No. I'm good. I have to be honest with you. My priorities now are different, and how I want to present myself is different. Listen, I had fun with these, okay?
Maria Kang:
Huh?
Sheila Bella:
I had fun with them.
Maria Kang:
Oh, yeah.
Sheila Bella:
I felt like I looked great in clothes and stuff like that. So yeah, I'm not knocking that girl in her 20s that much. But, it's just I don't ... Isn't crazy? I feel like this is so cliché, but it's also really beautiful, I guess, that now in my 30s, my priorities are very different. Very, very different. And it's not as important. I feel loved regardless. Perhaps part of me back then got them because I wanted people's approval. I wanted to feel loved. I was seeking that. It just feels so good that now I don't feel like that makes a difference.
Maria Kang:
It's so funny, but it's so true. As you get older, you just become wiser, and your priorities change. For me and for a lot of my friends who are fitness people, I mean, we did it to compete. We did it to look good in a sports bra. But, we're just not there anymore. We focus on our function, you know?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Maria Kang:
We focus on our true health. How old are your boobs?
Sheila Bella:
15 years.
Maria Kang:
So we're like the same year.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, 2005.
Maria Kang:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
You got yours-
Maria Kang:
Yeah, but that's just ... 2003.
Sheila Bella:
Oh, okay.
Maria Kang:
So, [inaudible 00:48:47]. But, yours ruptured, so that's kind of scary, too.
Sheila Bella:
Very.
Maria Kang:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
It is very scary. But, it's within the capsule.
Maria Kang:
So you have to make sure the surgeon's very good in removing the entire capsule without breaking anything.
Sheila Bella:
Correct. I've done a lot of homework on this.
Maria Kang:
Oh, yeah.
Sheila Bella:
I've had to. I'm like, "Ugh." Being sick, first of all, or just having a health issue takes so much time. It's like I've had like a part-time job for the last two weeks doing a lot of research-
Maria Kang:
Aw.
Sheila Bella:
... and going to doctor's appointments. But, that's being a good advocate for your own health.
Maria Kang:
Oh, yeah.
Sheila Bella:
But, it does take time. So, thank you so much for sharing that and for being an example to me.
Maria Kang:
Aw. You're welcome. And God bless you. It's not an easy surgery. I mean, I would say it was ... Explanting for myself was harder than implanting. But, some people have told me different. They think it's easier to explant. But, it was just hard for me. It was hard for me physically because I dealt with complications as usual. I knew I would. But, just the entire process. I mean, from when I went to consult last year, I cried afterwards. I cried because I was ... I wanted to feel like I was detached from my boobs, but I really kind of wasn't because it had become a part of me. It is a part of me. You know what I mean?
I mean, how many shots do you see of me in my string bikini somewhere, online especially? I mean, I'm in a swimsuit most of the time when I'm in Hawaii. And obviously my husband has never seen me without boobs. And granted they're not humongous, but he's a boob guy. So, it was really realizing like, "Man, I'm still kind of trapped in what people want from me versus what I know is right for me." And also the same time being comfortable with I'm going to be more flat chested, and I'm going to ... I'm going to look like I just nursed three kids. I'm going to look like most of my followers and how they feel. And I'm proud of that now, obviously, but it was very scary to have that instant transformation.
Sheila Bella:
How has David been throughout this whole thing?
Maria Kang:
He's been great. He'll always remind me, "Oh, you're so beautiful," or, "I love your breasts." I was going to say shit like that. But, I'm just like, "Go away. I'm still in the process of fluffing, honey." But, he's great. I mean, he's been very supportive.
I will say in the beginning, though, it was tough because I felt like he wasn't doing enough research. I think he thought, "Oh, no, Maria. You know they have new and improved boobs now these days." Or even prior to this because he knew we had to get it replaced. He'd always say, "Well, why don't you go a little bit bigger next time, like 300 or something?" I felt to a certain degree like ... And I know he wasn't doing this to me, but I felt like, "What am I a toy to you? Go bigger?" I thought there is no new and improved. They're all bad for you. It's a foreign object. They all have silicone. Silicone's not good for your health. I felt like he didn't do enough research, and that really annoyed me. He's been supportive, but there's been definitely hills and valleys in this process with my husband.
Sheila Bella:
Because, I mean, my husband, too. I had to discuss this with him. But, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care. I'm like, "You don't care at all." "No, I don't care at all."
Maria Kang:
Aw.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. But, I thought that it would be a bigger deal, actually. That's why I was asking. Because I was actually really nervous to bring it up.
Maria Kang:
Oh, wow.
Sheila Bella:
I'm sure now after he's done his homework and he's been informed, now he's like, "Oh, okay. Yeah, of course I don't want that for the mother of my children and the love of my life. Of course."
Maria Kang:
Oh, you're too funny.
Sheila Bella:
Absolutely. I always ask this question. I love it because I feel like it gets to the root of a human being. Let's say it was the last day of your life. Last day of your life and you had everything that you've ever posted on the internet, every blog post, every video, every caption you've ever written would go away. But, you have this one box, and you can leave three truths to your children. What are three things that you demand for your children to understand to be true?
Maria Kang:
Oh, that's a good question.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Maria Kang:
Three truths. Three objects?
Sheila Bella:
Three things. No, three truths. You can write it down.
Maria Kang:
The very first thing that popped into my head was my wedding ring. I'd leave that, obviously. I mean, that's the only thing that I truly own that I care about. Obviously, we've had ... If people follow me, know that we've had ups and downs. But, I think that the story of how the humble beginnings and what it took to stay together, or to believe in love, or to understand what love is ... Love being it's a discipline, and it's a commitment. It's a feeling, but it's not. It's definitely a commitment towards a joint goal.
I want them to understand ... I mean, my ring. I don't know if you can see it. It's small, but it's a heart. That heart represents ... My husband, I remember him asking, "What kind of ring would you want?" I said, "I don't know. I want a round cut," because my mom was really into diamonds. I know that's a perfect cut. He said, "No, what do you really want?" I said, "Well, I really like hearts," and he got me a ... He found a heart. He searched high and low for a heart, and it's a perfect heart.
But, anyways, it's really saying, "You know what? Also find exactly what you want." My husband, when I married him, he was divorced, and had three kids, and had a brain injury. It's kind of like go with what you want. Follow your heart kind of deal.
Then, number two, I mentioned the book, Man's Search for Meaning. I'm just [inaudible 00:55:08] right now. I would put that in there. I'd want them to understand that life is not about fame, or money, or cars, or whatever. It's really about being a positive impact and having positive energy into this world and creating things that are very God-inspired. So, I want my kids to live a very purposeful life. That's what I truly hope for them.
So, I'd put the ring. I'd put the book. Let's see. What else would I put. I don't know. I think I'm going to put maybe a journal. I put a journal because I'm big believer ... Obviously with my blogs. But, big believer in reflecting in your life. You just can't go throughout your life without having a very ... I love the quote the unexamined life is not worth living. There's a lot of people who don't ... They live in a very routine, robotic existence. Then, they are 70 and they're realizing, "Well, what was my reason for living?" I ask myself what's my reason for living every single morning when I'm walking my dog or before I wake up and open my eyes. What is my intention today. So, I'm really happy to have finally met you because my intention was to have a very good podcast, to connect and resonate with like-minded, powerful women. So, thank you for having me here.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, I'm so excited. Wow. What great answers. Definitely. I really resonate with the journal. Because you've been writing now for a really long time, but I've only started doing this maybe about three years or so, like truly reflective. There's a discipline in writing that just opens your eyes and really grows you, I think, more than it might grow the reader. Because you're forced. You're forcing yourself to explore and to be authentic. So yeah, the discipline of writing has really, really changed me, too, so yeah. No wonder you're awesome. You've been doing this longer. Thank you so much, Maria. So for our listeners, how can we find you, and how can we work with you?
Maria Kang:
People can find me on Instagram Maria Kang Fitness. Obviously Facebook, Maria Kang. I have No Excuse Mom communities everywhere. These are free mom groups. I really encourage people to, again, find their tribe, find connection, and positivity, encouragement, support through noexcusemom.com or anywhere. Just google it. But, yeah, where you can find me in Sacramento at California Fitness every 1 o'clock on Friday. Yes.
Sheila Bella:
That's awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
Grey:
[inaudible 00:57:55].
Sheila Bella:
Grey, say, "Share with your friends."
Grey:
Share with friends.
Sheila Bella:
Please review my mommy on iTunes.
Grey:
[inaudible 00:58:03] mama iTunes.
Sheila Bella:
Thanks for listening.
Grey:
Thanks for listening.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you so much for listening. It is an honor to be a part of your life. If you enjoyed this podcast or were impacted by this at all, please take a minute to leave us a five star review on iTunes and share it with a friend. Screenshot it. Post it on your stories, your feed, and your timeline. And don't forget to tag me. I would really love to see that. My Instagram is @realsheilabella.
Also, let's carry on the conversation longer. Join our private Facebook group, Just for Pretty Rich Girls. Just go to facebook.com/prettyrichsquad. And check out sheilabella.com for more information on how to get more support on your beauty entrepreneurship journey and get going on your Pretty Rich lifestyle. Until next time.
